It’s the 23rd of January and I’m typing my first blog post of the year using a very old keyboard attached to my trusty 7 year old laptop but still working perfectly fine if you’re gonna connect the charger to the main socket. I have plans on changing to a brand new laptop or at least a second hand laptop but I can’t (for now) since I have a lot of memories attached to this old laptop and I have to save for it. Well, I had the chance to write a blog post since I didn’t come in to work since Monday night because of flu. My mom said that I should go have myself check by a doctor but I didn’t, well this is necessary for us since our boss will ask for a medical certificate but I’m not gonna provide anything. If they will issue me a memo then fine, if not, thank you for considering my situation. Hehe, I’m perfectly fine now…I had so much sleep for the past two days and I think it will make me go through for the remaining 3 days at work.
I am working 5 days a week, 12 hours a day the maximum and 10 hours, the minimum and I have 2 days off from work which I guess is not really enough. I don’t know maybe because I don’t have enough vitamins to help me go through the stress in living everyday. My best of friends really know what I am going through in life right now and I don’t know if they feel pity of me or concerned about me but nonetheless, I thank them for being there when I needed them the most. Being the eldest, at the age of 24, I am kind of overwhelmed with the amount of the obligation and responsibility I had to go through.
I have 3 siblings, 2 sisters and a brother, the 2 youngest, a girl and a boy is still studying while my sister next to me just started her work and she’s not earning enough to cover for our expenses. While my Dad, an OFW retiree is staying at home and a tricycle driver at night (whenever he wants to) and my mom is just a plain housewife. They are all depending on me and that’s a big burden for me to carry all ALONE. I’m just trying to be strong at the days that I’m gonna breakdown because of a lot of problem at home. And maybe this is one of the reason I had to go through a break up because we (both) will be a burden of each other life thinking that my former partner has his own problems at home and I don’t want him to be like my outlet. They always say that I should go get myself a love life? Well, at this point of my life, I’m not yet ready. I have a lot of things in my plate that I should go through and finish them first before I can be ready for another phase of my life.
January didn’t started so well unlike for the others, I had a mental breakdown at the second day of January. When I say mental breakdown, my anxieties, insecurities, questions about my life came in just right before I am about to sleep before going to work at night and that’s not great. I had to come to work with my mask (face game on) so that my managers, teammates and agents won’t notice I have a problem. It happened almost every Monday afternoon and I am asking myself, what is this? Why I had to go through this? This started when I recently got promoted to a higher position and it has been 3 months since then. I’m still figuring out the new environment and how the system works in a corporate office. I’m starting to love/like the job that I have now and I really do hope that I can start to go with the flow in it.
Another thing that I didn’t started when January came in is to have myself a planner or journal for 2019. I did bullet journalling for 2018 and completed every month of it since I was able to score a dotted notebook before 2018 ends but not for this year. The notebook I’ve been eyeing on BDJ online store went sold out and I can’t find any similar to the previous notebook I have so I’ve decided to just have the January off for planning and just go with the flow. But I won’t be doing the same thing for February, I have plans and I wanted all of it to be written down in a notebook/journal. If I can go through maybe on Shoppee or Lazada, I would. I’m just a scared cat to shop online because of bogus seller or whatnot but hopefully I can ask for a friend’s help here. Hehehe! 😉
I really don’t have a main topic to talk about in this post, I just wanted to type what is currently going through my mind right now. And whoa, that’s a lot I guess! Since I don’t have a proper journal to write this down, why not blog about it just like the old days. My last post was saying Hi to the month of December, that’s about a month ago. Yeah, like what I’ve said there, I’ll be posting some backlogs I have on my draft probably two years ago and write some more. This is one of my goals this year, to be active on my blog and also be consistent on doing vlogging on Youtube. I know I don’t have any magic to be famous here and there but I just want to document my life in this high-tech era. Let’s see! 😉
Here’s to embracing, surviving and living the life that 2019 will bring us! See you,